Guidance for students on what to do if you are worried about a friend or another student

If you are concerned about a friend’s mental health or wellbeing, it can be challenging to know what to do. This guide is designed to help you support your friend and ensure they get the help they need while also taking care of yourself.

If you want Student Services to check in with another student, who could be a friend, a classmate or someone from halls, you can do this by filling out our worried about a friend form. The form asks for some information about you. We keep this information confidential, and it is not passed on to the friend or other student you are concerned about.

Spot the signs

 How to recognise signs that a friend may be struggling with their mental health:

• Withdrawing from social occasions and becoming isolated
• Changes in attendance at classes, lectures or other activities
• Tearfulness
• Moodiness and irritability
• Changes in eating or sleeping patterns
• Loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed

If you notice these signs for more than two weeks or they seem out of character consider asking if they are ok and offering support.

Starting the conversation

When you decide to reach out:

• Speak one-on-one to avoid overwhelming your friend
• Choose a familiar, private place where you won’t be disturbed
• Engage in a relaxing activity together, like walking or having coffee
• Avoid stressful times and ensure there’s enough time to talk

Things to keep in mind

• Listen but don’t try to fix: offer a non-judgemental listening ear. You don’t need to have all the answers, most of the time just listening is enough.
• Ask open questions: use questions like ‘How are you feeling?’, which allows someone to talk through how they are feeling, rather than ‘Are you depressed?’, which gives little room for talking things through.
• Avoid judgement: try not to react with shock or judgement.

Supporting your friend

Your conversation itself can be very helpful, but there are other ways to support your friend:

• Stay in touch, even if it’s just through text
• Encourage activities like exercise, going to class or the library together, or regular meetups
• Offer practical support, like making a meal together, inviting them to events
• Encourage them to seek professional support like seeing their doctor (GP), or talking to Student Services, a University Chaplain or their advisor of studies.

Encourage your friend to seek professional support if needed. There are resources you could direct them to:

• Encourage them to book an appointment with their GP. If they are not registered with a GP you can find out how to do that in our guide to registering with a doctor.
• The University’s Student Services team can support any current student and offer a wide range of services.

Need help now

Read our guide on emergency support.

If your friend is feeling suicidal or has plans to harm themselves, take immediate action:

• Call the NHS non-emergency number: 111
• For life-threatening situations: call 999 or go to the Accident & Emergency (A&E) department at the nearest hospital (Royal Victoria in Kirkcaldy or Ninewells in Dundee)

University of St Andrews Nightline

The University’s Nightline offers a confidential, non-judgmental, non-directive, empathetic listening service. You or your friend can call them anonymously.

Nightline will never ask for any identifying information, and any information you give will never be acted upon.

The service is run by trained volunteers, who also remain anonymous.

You can contact St Andrews Nightline in the following ways:

• Between 8pm and 7am during semester
  • Phone: +44 (0)1334 46 2266
  • Skype: StAndrewsNightline

• From 8pm to midnight
  • Instant messaging: nline.IM

• At any time, including during the summer and winter break
  • Email: nightline@st-andrews.ac.uk.

Please check the Nightline website for the most up-to-date information.

If you live in University accommodation

• On weekday evenings after 7pm and weekends after 2pm: call your Halls Life team
• Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm: call your residential services team

If you do not live in University accommodation

• Monday to Friday, 8.45am to 5pm: call Student Services on +44 (0)1334 46 2020 or 2020 from an internal University phone
• Monday to Sunday, 24 hours a day: call the Security and Response Team on +44 (0)1334 46 8999

Taking care of yourself

Supporting a friend can be tough, so remember to look after your own wellbeing:

• Keep doing activities you enjoy
• Take time to relax and de-stress
• Speak to a professional, GP, family, friends or Student Services if you need support
• Be clear with your friend about your boundaries
• Stay connected with your own support network